Final Destination 5

FINAL DESTINATION 5

Couch Reviewer

3 Stars 

*** 

What can be said about the Final Destination series other than, "creepy?"  The final piece of the destination series leaves a little to be desired.  The other movies had people that it was easy to relate to or have a minor connection to, not in this one.  The film is hard to follow and seems randomly put together.  They are on a business retreat on a bus crossing a suspension bridge when all hell breaks loose, literally.  The confusing part is that we thought they all worked for this paper company, Presage, but yet one guy is a chef, another worked in a factory, we had a gymnast.... um, what?  On top of that, the rules changed, in the previous movies, the only thing that "saved" someone was if they were skipped because someone else saved them, forcing Death to move onto the next in line.  In this movie they have added the stipulation that if you kill some innocent, you get their life and whatever number of years they have left.  Not that it really helped anyone is this film.  I won't give out the spoiler.  The first films leave your skin crawling and makes you be extra careful for awhile afterward, but this one just tried to find the worst possible ways for people to die.  Aside from the rule changes and the plot, and character likeability, the movie drags on forever!  The beginning is slow, the middle is slow, they spent too much time trying to build up the suspense prior to the first girl dying that I was bored to tears.  It picks up toward the end, and then its too late, its the end.  We see The CandyMan resume his role as the creepy mortician who knows all about Death's plan.  For the end of the series of films, it seems pretty haphazard and the actors/actresses are a bunch of people you don't recognize except for their boss who falls into that category of "hey its that guy" because you only recognize him by his face not by anything substantial he's done.  It's an okay movie but doesn't live up to its prequels in the "creepy" department. 

Apollo 18

Couch Reviewer

** 2 Stars

This movie sucks, it is so boring, and has an absurd premise.  Found footage of a space mission, really, do you honestly think that NASA would not have a better handle on its recorded evidence?  I wish I would have done some reviewing on it before I spent $4.00 to rent it.  Thankfully it isn't too difficult to watch from a video camera viewpoint, it is probably one of the best "found footage" films ever made, the standard for these types of films are normally "shaky cam" making them a motion sickness disaster.  Oh my god, the scandal, www.lunartruth.com, like anyone now would give a shit.  This movie was terrible.  However, in comparison to the Paranormal Activity films now gaining widespread popularity, this movie is far superior, because the PA movies win the special ROTTEN EGG award. Spare yourself the money and the agony of watching this film.  

Cowboys and Aliens

****

Couch Reviewer 

4 Stars

We have been waiting a long time to see Cowboys and Aliens, and it was definitely worth the wait and worth it not to have it ruined watching it in the theater.  At first we were kind of skeptical about the idea of a sci-fi western movie as this seemed to be the current trend, but who can go wrong with Harrison Ford and Daniel Craig?  The movie starts out good with some action in the beginning, then slows down for some time almost to the point of boring.  The downfall for this film is the 20 minutes of complete darkness where you cannot see what is happening, and you have to kind of guess for yourself what is going on.   The main character, Longren, remains a mystery for way too long and it begins to wear on your nerves as people continually ask him who he is and where he came from which results in the same response, "I don't know." Yet the woman in the film insists that he knows who he is and where he came from.  We were pleasantly surprised that the love interest portion of the film did not overrun it.  The aliens were some of the best we have seen, although CGI, the directors did not disappoint by having them be pathetic humans, but a savage race of creatures never seen.  Disappointment that the ending is the classic hero riding into the horizon, leaving the story kind of incomplete, we never really know why the aliens are there except to mine gold.  However, very nicely done movie, we are happy with the change and creativity/imagination from the same old bullshit of date movies.